Thursday, 27 November 2008


It will take a long time since I will become active again. I currently feel a great burden, again that old feeling, wishing to be creative to give a meaning in my life but being too lazy. Sometimes I say how cool it would be to have a lot of free time and not having to go to work but it seems that you get more lazy when you loose your job. I know, you people will tell me to find another one but I don't want yet. You don't have to tell me. I know how it kills me, yet I want to be able for a while to wake up and do nothing. I can't even code demos or anything because I feel I have other responsibilities to fulfill first. I have no motivation for nothing. I keep watching tv series. I wake up at midday. You will tell me that the solution is to shut up and do what it has to be done. I know, but I don't want it so fast. I want to find an alternative. I want to be able to be creative and happy when I don't have to wake up in the morning, where there is no job to keep me on track, I want to somehow be lazy and creative at the same time. Maybe I ask too much, but I won't follow the other choice (of just doing what the rest do and find a job) for a month or so till I find my answers. Which I won't. So I will rest (I never cared about the supposed missing time anyways).

I need to finish 1-2 things in a week though. Scene and real life things. But it's really too hard for me right now..

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