Thursday, 27 November 2008

Unmotivated.

It will take a long time since I will become active again. I currently feel a great burden, again that old feeling, wishing to be creative to give a meaning in my life but being too lazy. Sometimes I say how cool it would be to have a lot of free time and not having to go to work but it seems that you get more lazy when you loose your job. I know, you people will tell me to find another one but I don't want yet. You don't have to tell me. I know how it kills me, yet I want to be able for a while to wake up and do nothing. I can't even code demos or anything because I feel I have other responsibilities to fulfill first. I have no motivation for nothing. I keep watching tv series. I wake up at midday. You will tell me that the solution is to shut up and do what it has to be done. I know, but I don't want it so fast. I want to find an alternative. I want to be able to be creative and happy when I don't have to wake up in the morning, where there is no job to keep me on track, I want to somehow be lazy and creative at the same time. Maybe I ask too much, but I won't follow the other choice (of just doing what the rest do and find a job) for a month or so till I find my answers. Which I won't. So I will rest (I never cared about the supposed missing time anyways).

I need to finish 1-2 things in a week though. Scene and real life things. But it's really too hard for me right now..

Saturday, 1 November 2008

The feeling that almost came back..

It's not really like the very first time though but the releases at X 2008 makes me want to bring back my C64 and start watching demos on the real thing. It also makes me want to start coding again. I wish I start with a new project soon..

I won't say much, just check at the 1st four demos here (either the videos or watch them on an emulator or the real thing). I am wondering how the C64 demomakers can still surprise me when I thought I have seen everything..

Progressing..

It took me 2+ frustrating weeks to integrate the 2nd part of the CPC demo I am currently working on and one evening to finish a rotozoomer effect for another part. Things are so arbitary when coding. Sometimes you spend a whole week to find a fucking bug and at other times you have such inspiration and clear mind that it all goes well and there is something to see on the screen after few hours of coding. I wish I was such productive (or maybe lucky on code) every day. And I even love the code I wrote today for the rotozoomer, so clean, so nice, with nice tricks (yet not the most optimized thing I can get).

I think that the effects for the intro are ready now, I just need to integrate them together, sync them to the music, do little fades and design details here and there and then I go for the big thing. The main demo. I will build this from scratch, being more careful with memory organization and taking more time on optimizing the effects and fitting all in memory. It will be something like a new step beyond and we are planning (or I hope) to release it till the end of 2008. Most probably it will take longer though because that's how projects come along. Also I am trying to not pushing it hard, enjoying the process and even not be too harsh on release but take the time to make something slightly more designed than my previous CPC demos.

I have a week since I stopped following the project list in the previous post. I also rewarded myself on my CPC effort by throwing a 1d20 dice and donate 15 stars to the inactive projects. It hardly works with 5 or 6 projects running low on stars. I need to mainly focus on one. Though I will keep the app running and try various other schemes. It will depend on my creative mood and which projects I would slightly like to take care for a little while (except from the primary CPC project). I try to keep a good balance in my real life and scene life projects and I am slightly content with the results.